don't fly away

Hummingbirds - everywhere I go. Flying hummingbirds, eating hummingbirds, resting hummingbirds - I'm surrounded by hummingbirds. I'm not complaining. I love their little colorful bodies. Just suddenly, hummingbirds everywhere.

If you have hummingbirds in your life, their symbolic meaning is joy and playfulness as well as adaptability. If they show up in your life it may remind you to enjoy life's simple pleasures and take time to enjoy yourself. Some other meanings include: being more present; independence; lifting up negativity; ability to respond quickly; and resiliency.

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wednesday already

I've been having a difficult time keeping up - with the blog, with life. Today was a good day though. Got to see my beloved niece, Cindy. (Check out her kitty tumblr here.) Picked up my Mom for an extended visit. The drive was good - all six hours of it. Except for the parts on Hwy 505 and Bayliss Bluegum Rd where the butterflies were migrating across the road. Hate that. I should teach a course in how to drive while avoiding butterflies and not pissing other drivers off...

taken by Miss J one day from the back seat while I was driving

islands and bridges

I've been struggling with building bridges. My energy healer says I can no longer be an island. I must be available for and actively seek out partnership and collaboration. I'm accustomed to doing on my own and working on my own and being on my own. For goodness sake, my blog is called The Island of Rose - that says it all. I happened upon a quote yesterday that touched my heart and only confuses things more...

Be islands unto yourselves,

refugees unto yourselves,

seeking no external refuge.

Buddha

dragonflies

At a certain time of year - now, orange dragonflies cover the skies around here. Hundreds of dragonflies with the sun glistening off their wings hover just above our heads. It's an awesome sight and an incredible feeling of being connected with these blessed wing creatures...

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missing

I've been missing from the blog lately. Not because I want to be. Not because I don't have things to say. Not because anything is wrong. It's because I can't get to my computer.

Miss J has discovered computer games - pet games, beauty games, surgery games - all kinds of games. She can sit in front of the computer for hours - if I let her, which I don't. She's at the computer enough, though, that I have a difficult time getting everything done I need to. She's in the mountains with her Dad right now, so I have the computer to myself.

Everything is okay. Thank you for sticking with me while I figure out some way for both J and me to use the internet.

taken the last time I was in the mountains with J and her Dad

building bridges

I had a session with my energy healer today. I've been feeling frustrated and discouraged, in a few ways, but mostly in my photography business. I went to see her to help me clear whatever is within me that is blocking my growth and enjoyment and success. I won't bore you with details. It was a wonderful session. She is incredible. (Her name is Joyce. You can find her here.)

There is one thing I want to share with you...At one point she looked at me and said I'm energetically not allowing partnership and collaboration. She said I'm on an island and there is no way for anyone else to cross over. I stared at her, blinked a few times, and quietly said, "That's the name of my blog...the island of rose." She smiled and said that I can't be an island anymore.

So I'm building a bridge - an energy bridge, a rainbow bridge. Everyone is invited to my island. Stay a while; stay a long time. All are welcome...

I don't have any photos of bridges - which is kind of ironic in itself. Instead, here's a photo of a driftwood tipi on one of my favorite beaches.

i still love a piano

Way back when - about two years ago - I wrote a post (here) about being given an upright piano by J's Dad's church. For two years, I've been trying to find a way to get that piano from there to here - all of three blocks. I asked for help. I advertised for help. I checked the prices of moving companies. I never could find help and since there are no moving companies in our little town, the price to bring a truck from Chico and move a piano is astronomical. I even considered rolling the piano here! I kept the space clear and ready for the piano, but could never get it here.

Cut to now time. The pastor of the church that gave me the piano was recently transferred. The board wants to provide the new pastor with a new office - the room where my piano was stored. Suddenly help could be found and a man from the church moved the piano here this afternoon. I have a piano!

Oddly, it doesn't quite look the way I remembered it. It's a cherry wood, not the soft brown I recalled. But it'a a sweet piano. A Kindler & Collins, made in New York sometime between 1914 and 1924, it wasn't an expensive piano in its day and it has been well used. It smells a little musty under the "hood," one key sticks and another is way out of key, and a few of the ivories are missing. But I love it. J wants to take piano lessons and I'm thinking it wouldn't hurt for me to take lessons again myself.

Below is a picture of the keyboard of my new baby. If I could get a photo of the piano with a cat on it, it would be a perfect Cat Saturday photo for today, but so far the cats won't go near it!

meet savannah

I've been busy lately. A little cat showed up across the street at the empty house next door to J's Dad. He didn't want anything to do with it and called me. It had a collar with a tag but was skittish around people. The cat had worked one paw through the collar and it was rubbing under her leg and across her neck. We guessed she was a she. She looked like a she. After a few days, I was able to get close enough to cut the collar off. Her name is Savannah.

I called the number listed on the name tag - a few times. Her former owner finally got back to me about a week later. He had had her for seven years but ran into hard times and gave her up to some friends to care for. He got in touch with them. They didn't care the cat was gone. The poor guy was in tears. He kept changing his mind about taking her back. Back and forth for days. Finally he decided he couldn't take her. That left me or the animal shelter. So, really, that left me. I really don't want another cat, but J is already attached and I can't abandon the cat too. 

J and I brought her over to our house tonight. We're going to try to make her an indoor kitty. Right now, she's in the bathroom. We're letting the kitties get used to each other's smells and sounds. Tomorrow I'll let her into the attached bedroom. And the next day, they'll all be together. Wish us luck. Right now, little Savannah is not very happy. Poor kitty.

taken with my iPhone

on point

One week ago yesterday, Miss J performed in her fifth ballet recital. She rocked it!

And because it's all about the bun and the tutu...

goodbye

My dear dear feline friend, Graycee, passed away this morning. He has been suffering and slowly declining for weeks. The vet couldn't seem to do anything to help. I couldn't do anything to help except give him lots of love and attention. He drew his last breaths this morning as I knelt beside him. Miss J and I buried him with food, a blue jay feather, and one of J's crystals from the mountains. He's resting under the oleander where he liked to bathe in the morning sun. We are greatly saddened by our loss. We will miss him so much.

Thank you for your life and death, precious Graycee. Bless you on your way.

chicken little

My faith in humanity has been rocked. My next-door "neighbor" - by proximity only - is a hunter. Loves to kill things. He is married with two very young sons who are already being taught to kill. He recently got three chickens. I was hoping it was for the eggs. He had the chickens about a week or so. Saturday night my seven-year-old daughter and I were in our back yard visiting with our sick cat when we heard him and his hunting dog in his back yard. The chickens started squawking and we could see him through the cracks in the fence. He was grabbing the chickens by the legs and knocking their heads against a stump then siccing his dog on them. "Come on, boy! Get the birds!" I quickly sent my daughter in the house. I stayed outside and witnessed him and his dog killing the chickens all while the poor chickens squawked and tried to escape the yard. I was in tears and said something to him through the fence. He either didn't hear me or didn't care. I have to admit I didn't want to get too much in his face. I am afraid of him. If there hadn't been a fence there though I would have gotten between him and those chickens in a split second.

I called the county humane society. They aren't available on weekends but I left a detailed message. This morning I received a message from a very nice sounding woman asking me to call back with more information so they could make a report and call on him. I called back. The man who answered began by demanding to know who had given me that number. The call quickly disintegrated as I tried to explain what I had heard and seen. His response was to berate me and accuse me of not knowing what I had seen. I kept trying to explain. He continued to berate and abuse. Finally, through tears, I hung up on him. These are the people around here who are supposed to be promoting the welfare of and protecting the animals. No wonder so many of us work under the radar trying to help the animals on our own.

How in the world did I - someone who loves and respects and does whatever she can to assist the animals - end up next to a man who is happiest when there is animal blood on his hands?

transformation

I've been seeing butterflies lately. Not just any butterfly, but black butterflies. The other day, Miss J and I were walking and a black butterfly flew right in our faces. Everywhere I go, black butterflies. I'm not seeing any others, just black.

I know Nature has her own rhythms and black butterflies may be hatching or migrating right now. I also know the Universe is vast and wondrous and Spirit always takes care.

I've mentioned in previous posts that doors have been closing for me. I have been worried and frustrated. While nothing has changed that I can see - no new openings - yet, I am seeing black butterflies. Too many to disregard. So I researched the symbolic meaning of the black butterfly...

The butterfly symbolizes new life from an old one.

The black butterfly symbolizes a new strong but subtle life

after a period of transformation - 

a sign of positive change in the present situation.

Thank you, Spirit.

words

Lately it seems doors are closing for me. I'm trying to keep the faith and looking for other doors - or even windows - to open. Pondering my current situation, I remembered the words to the only poem I ever memorized...

Listen to the mustn'ts, child,

Listen to the don'ts

Listen to the shouldn'ts

The impossibles, the won'ts

Listen to the never haves

Then listen close to me --

Anything can happen, child,

Anything can be.

Shel Silverstein

from Where the Sidewalk Ends

by Shel Silverstein

center of cool

No. Not me. I'm definitely not cool. Not in any sense of the word! Summertime has hit early in my little town. We're already in the low 100s and it's expected to get warmer. I finally gave in and turned on the air conditioner today when the inside temp hit 90 degrees.

I'm longing for a cool, calm mountain lake...

Miss J wading in Center Lake, Mt Lassen two summers ago

one of those days

When it is too difficult to

keep swimming, float.

Melody Beattie

It's one of those kind of days. The doors keep slamming shut and I'm desperately looking for another open door - or even a window. Sometimes it's so hard to know when it's time to act and when it's time to just keep the faith. I feel like I'm swimming upstream - with my business, with my health, with my life. It's time to float awhile...

going to the dogs

The Saturday before Mother's Day (is it really almost June? time flies!) was our little town's annual Parade and Picnic Day. Parade down main street ( we call it the Midway) followed by food and games at the local park. We always have fun although the parade isn't much anymore. Only one horse entrant this year. Boo! My favorite part was the dogs people brought with them to view the parade...

turtle bay

More from Turtle Bay in Redding where we went on Tuesday for a field trip with Miss J's school class. Hope to go back sometime when the light is better and we have more time. It's a magical place.

My favorite...the fish...

The legos exhibit...

Miss J working on the monkey puzzle in the math room...

The purple hydrant in the magnificent and extensive native garden...

yesterday

Spent the day yesterday in Redding California with Miss J's school class for a field trip to Turtle Bay Exploration Park. Crazy windy there. Very tiring. And very fun - especially for the kids. Didn't get many photos - had my hands full with the kids - and those I did get were in the middle of the day. Bad light! Took one of the incredible and beautiful Sundial Bridge and did a photoshop action on it called The Seventies. I like the look. Reminds me of some of my Dad's old instamatic photos. What do you think?

kitty ups and downs

It's been a rough day for my extended cat family today. Precious Mitzi - one of Miss J's Dad's cats - died last night. She was 21 and ready to go. Still, it won't be the same going to their house and not hearing her loud scratchy meow begging for a caress.

My Graycee has been sick for about a week. He's not eating and has discomfort in the intestinal area. He's fiv+ so any illness is dangerous for him. Took him to the vet today. Four hundred dollars later, we'll find out tomorrow what's going on inside him.

 Graycee

Mitzi

Thank you for your life and death, dear one. Bless you on your way.

who am i

More Facebook Frustration or Who Am I

The other day, frustrated over my lack of friends on facebook, I added many many new friends who I didn't know - friends of friends I admire, respect, and like. Spiritual-minded friends. My news feed is now filled with enlightening and inspiring art, photographs, and messages. I have to wonder if these incredible people will regret friending me when they find out who I am. I am just a simple woman. I try to lead a spiritual life but know I have far to go and with little money and a young daughter, I tend to be focused on worldly things like sustenance and survival. I sometimes eat meat and refined sugars. I love the frozen food aisle at the grocery store and my home is a mess. I worry more about the state of my wallet than the state of my soul. And I still play with Barbies.

The worst part is now I feel like I have to censor myself on facebook. That somehow my messages must be inspirational and hopeful - whether I feel that way or not. Do I be brave and bare myself to these hundreds of deep thinking, deep feeling people and risk being rejected. Or...I don't know the "or" in this situation. The truth is I only know how to be myself. Barbies and all...

Anatomy