who am i

More Facebook Frustration or Who Am I

The other day, frustrated over my lack of friends on facebook, I added many many new friends who I didn't know - friends of friends I admire, respect, and like. Spiritual-minded friends. My news feed is now filled with enlightening and inspiring art, photographs, and messages. I have to wonder if these incredible people will regret friending me when they find out who I am. I am just a simple woman. I try to lead a spiritual life but know I have far to go and with little money and a young daughter, I tend to be focused on worldly things like sustenance and survival. I sometimes eat meat and refined sugars. I love the frozen food aisle at the grocery store and my home is a mess. I worry more about the state of my wallet than the state of my soul. And I still play with Barbies.

The worst part is now I feel like I have to censor myself on facebook. That somehow my messages must be inspirational and hopeful - whether I feel that way or not. Do I be brave and bare myself to these hundreds of deep thinking, deep feeling people and risk being rejected. Or...I don't know the "or" in this situation. The truth is I only know how to be myself. Barbies and all...

Anatomy

playing with barbies

Guess what I did today...

All are available at barbierose on etsy.

april 12th

I was married when I was 18. I had known my groom for only six months before we married. I just wanted to be married. Needless to say, there was no hope for this union. It lasted about two years. If we were still married, today would be our anniversary. I won't say how many years, but many many moons! We were both living in the SF Bay Area at the time. I now live 170 miles north of there. Funny thing, the last few months, I swear I've seen my ex at least two times in Chico. Could the Universe be that funny that we'd end up in the same area a million years later???

I don't have any digitized wedding photos. My wedding was back before computers reigned. So, sorry, you can't point and laugh at me in wedding garb! Here's a Barbie wedding photo instead...

foto friday

Going back to the root goal of my photography - having my photos available to those who want them, I've decided to make Fridays a sharing day. I will provide a different photo each Friday that you can download and print for your personal use. The photo is in pdf form. You will need Adobe Reader to open the file. You can download Reader for free here. I'm new to this downloading stuff and am using dropbox to facilitate the transfer. If you have any problems downloading the photo, please let me know.

In B&W

download 6x9 pdf here

turquoise

It started with the red polka dotted Barbie dress. It just called for a turquoise background. I found the perfect color in card stock at Michael's. The red looked glorious in front of the turquoise. Unfortunately, the photos didn't really turn out well. The dress had arrived with a crease across the front of the skirt and the crease shows up too much in the photos. But the turquoise was so spectacular, I had to use it for something. Then I spotted the white Breyer pony I've had since I was a little girl. Perfect.

ooooh, barbie!

They came. Today. Barbie's wedding dresses! I ordered them through eBay a week or so ago. I have a photo shoot in mind for Barbie and Ken's wedding. The dresses are beautiful, exquisite. The red and white polka dotted dress is for a different shoot. It cries out for a turquoise background. I haven't decided which wedding dress I will use. Probably the one with the lacy skirt. The texture and color seem to capture better on camera. I'll decide when I have them on Barbie. Now which Barbie...

just a toe in

I dipped my toe into the pool of dating again. I don't know what I was thinking. Last time I jumped in and found myself beaten and bitten by sharks. It was painful. I retreated back into my simple life, swearing I'd never put myself in that position again. Now, I'm stronger and wiser. I thought I was in a better place. And who wants to be alone ALL THE TIME. Well, not all the time. You know what I mean. So I dipped my toe in...and got it stomped on. Not once, but twice. My ego is bruised. I just don't fit in. Why is it so hard to find a man who is respectful and kind. I'm respectful and kind - well, I have my moments. Why choose to be mean when you can so easily be nice? So it's back to my simple - and single - life.

Barbie & Ken - Dating

playing with barbies

That's me today - playing with Barbies. I did other things too, of course. The most fun was the Barbies. I am working on an idea for a series of Barbie wedding photos. I ordered two magnificent wedding dresses off eBay last night. Can't wait until they arrive. So today I looked through my dolls to see if I had an appropriate "bride." I don't. Poor me. I guess I'll have to buy another doll!

Took a few photos. These are the best...

The last photo is of a Barbie my sweet niece gave me. Isn't she sublime!

foto friday

Going back to the root goal of my photography - having my photos available to those who want them, I've decided to make Fridays a sharing day. I will provide a different photo each Friday that you can download and print for your personal use. The photo is in pdf form. You will need Adobe Reader to open the file. You can download Reader for free here. I'm new to this downloading stuff and am using dropbox to facilitate the transfer. If you have any problems downloading the photo, please let me know.

Wedding Day

download 6x9 pdf here

foto friday

Going back to the root goal of my photography - having my photos available to those who want them, I've decided to make Fridays a sharing day. I will provide a different photo each Friday that you can download and print for your personal use. The photo is in pdf form. You will need Adobe Reader to open the file. You can download Reader for free here. I'm new to this downloading stuff and am using dropbox to facilitate the transfer. If you have any problems downloading the photo, please let me know.

In Front of the Lights

download 6x9 pdf here

barbie creativity

This afternoon J, her grandmother, and I dressed J's Barbies. Of course, that wasn't enough for me - or J. We had to photograph them as well...

foto friday

Going back to the root goal of my photography, I've decided to make Fridays a sharing day. I will provide a different photo each Friday that you can download and print for your personal use. The photo is in pdf form. You will need Adobe Reader to open the file. You can download Reader for free here. I'm new to this downloading stuff and am using dropbox to facilitate the transfer. If you have any problems downloading the photo, please let me know.

red white and blue legs

download 6x9 pdf here

barbie and me

I just realized I've never written about barbierose. I sell my photos - animals, Nature, life-inspired - under brownrose on Etsy. I've always had a thing for Barbie. I played with Barbies until my pre-teens when my mother took them all away from me. "You're too old to play with Barbies!" Hmmm. Too old. Over the last few years, I've collected quite a few Barbie dolls and clothes - and shoes. Did you know there are Louboutin Barbie shoes??? Anyway, I've recently been taking photos of them. I don't feel I've quite found my vision yet with the dolls. I keep shooting away. The photos I like I post in a separate shop - barbierose. Here's a small selection...

 

barbie world

aaron ruell

Love this photo...

J is five-and-a-half. So far she's not much into Barbie. She has one that she dresses up every once in a while - usually if she happens upon it. She's never sought it out. By the time I was five, I was fully into Barbie. Of course, I had a sister who was nine years older than me. She played with Barbies so, of course, I played with Barbies. I use to create whole cities for them - along the dresser in my bedroom, in the closet, across the window sills - using things I found around the house. My mother had a white candy dish in that hob knob pattern - is that what it's called? That was the center of the Candy Dish Restaurant which was the social hub of my Barbie world. It was my own Barbie soap opera!

To be honest, I am still into Barbie. A couple of years ago, when I had a few extra dollars - oh, how I wish I had it now! - I went on a Barbie shopping spree. Not the play ones - the silkstones, repaints, and vintage clothes. Ebay and I were on close terms. It was fun. The idea was to photograph the dolls and create story lines. Didn't turn out the way I envisioned. Barbie's stiff body and facial expression kept getting in the way. I still intend to create a series of photographs of the clothes. And there is one repaint whose face I love to photograph. I've posted her photo before. Here is another...