Friday, the 25th, T had a "0" birthday. You know, one of those - thirty, forty, fifty... After T suddenly, unexpectedly, and without explanation dropped out of my life a couple of months ago, I wasn't sure what I should do about his birthday. I held no ill will toward him. Well, other than a wee bit of hatred, but nothing that would stop me from wanting to note his birthday in some way.
At first, I was going to put together a mind-body-soul gift. I like to give in three parts. For him - a letterpress Aries print (mind), a baseball cap with Nascar logo (body), and a red agate sphere (soul).
I intended to go through with this, mailing it to him, for a few weeks. Then, as time passed, I decided that it was really too much for someone who had treated me very badly. Not to mention a little stalkerish. I decided to design and print a card for him inspired by the Aries print above. My little girl and I have one or both been sick for the past six weeks or so - I've lost count - and I didn't have much time to put it together. This was my intention up till last weekend, when J had been well for a few days - before she caught a cold which turned into pneumonia this past week. As I sat at my computer a week ago to design the card, it hit me how stupid I was acting. Why should I take time away from my own projects and those waiting to be done for others, to make and give a very special card to someone who is a virtual stranger at this point.
I sent an email on his birthday. I know, I'm an idiot.
You can delete someone's contact information from your phone.
You can delete their email address from your computer.
You can delete their voice mails and emails.
How do you delete someone from your memories and your heart...
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